Resurfacing From Rock Bottom | How Subconscious Reprogramming Transformed My Health & Life
In my early 20s, I hit rock bottom with my health. My rock bottom looked like chronic cystic acne, crippling anxiety, awful fatigue, and horrible digestion. The anxiety was so bad that I completely isolated myself in my tiny, roach-infested NYC apartment. Anything I ate led to painful gas & bloating, and my laundry list of food sensitivities was becoming hopelessly long.
A little loving support would have been great, but I was in a very mentally and emotionally abusive relationship. My work environment? Equally toxic. My dear body recognized this was NOT the time to reproduce because my period completely disappeared
It was a painful time. But like many rock bottoms, it led me down a profound path. And my first stop on this journey was with a holistic practitioner in Connecticut.
I'll always remember the day she handed me a piece of paper and asked me to draw a picture of myself using my non-dominant hand. Diligently drawing, I ended up with a tiny stick figure in the center of the page, with a small smile. When she asked me what I saw, I simply replied that I saw a girl smiling.
But then she asked, "What are you hiding from?"
I was confused. Until she pointed out that I had a large piece of paper, yet I had chosen to draw the tiniest possible version of myself. She explained how this picture represented my self-image on a subconscious level. This revelation brought to light the deep fears I had been carrying, especially the fear of being seen.
I was terrified of being seen because I thought people would notice all of my imperfections (I was my own worst critic). Reflecting on my childhood, I recognize how these beliefs played out. I always attracted friends and people who needed to be the center of attention because I subconsciously avoided the spotlight.
I felt unworthy to shine. I was the girl who sat in the back of the classroom, ever observing and desperate to blend in. The wild thing? My chronic cystic acne, crippling anxiety, and pain weren’t just physical symptoms, but manifestations of what was happening on a mental and emotional plane.
My body was protecting me from the thing I was most afraid of (being seen). While listening to my subconscious mind, my body produced the symptoms that shielded me from any possibility of being exposed and judged (or leaving my apartment).
Finally, I got it. I understood the powerful connection between thoughts and physical health. And here's where it gets extraordinary. As I tackled these limiting beliefs, my healing progressed exponentially. My period returned, I could eat beans again (and avocado and cauliflower and BREAD) without doubling over in pain, and my improving self worth was giving serious side-eye to my toxic relationship.
This profound experience ignited my passion for subconscious reprogramming, and I began to study modalities such as PSYCH-K, EFT, Hypnosis, and NLP.
These modalities now inform my own holistic health practice, as I help my clients heal on a deeper level while cultivating a strong sense of self-love and acceptance. I know firsthand that healing and growth are possible for ALL of us, even when we feel like residents of rock bottom.
Xx
Evelyn
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