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In life, we often find ourselves yearning for specific outcomes – the perfect partner, transformational weight loss, or the miracle of conceiving a child. Our strong desires, while natural, can sometimes cause us to cling desperately to one outcome, resisting any other possibility.

This blog explores the concept of desire and resistance, and how to embrace neutrality for peace in the present…and incredible opportunities you might otherwise be missing. 

The Trap Of Strong Desire

Have you noticed that the more we desperately seek something, the more resistant we become to the opposite outcome? 

It's like grasping onto a rope for dear life while being pulled in the opposite direction. The tension between what we desire and life's unpredictable course can lead to internal conflict, stress, and frustration.

When we intensely desire a partner, being single becomes nearly unbearable. A strong urge to lose weight can create resistance to maintaining our current weight. Desiring to conceive can make you devalue your current reality without a child. 

And here's the catch: Our desperation to avoid what we don't want can keep us stuck. The grip on that metaphorical rope, our strong attachment to one outcome, can hinder our progress. Releasing that grip and embracing neutrality, however, can open doors. 

How Does Neutrality Create Opportunity?

Well, think about it. When there is resistance, there is tension and constriction. There is very little space for energy to flow and something new to come in. 

When we fixate on a single outcome, our energy focuses solely on achieving THAT goal. This intense focus creates resistance. We become so consumed by the fear of not achieving our desire that we delay its arrival.

Now, consider the shift that occurs when we release that tight hold. Letting go of our desperate grip on the desired outcome, we enter a state of acceptance and openness. We detach ourselves from the emotional turmoil of strong attachment, allowing the energy to flow more freely.

Letting Go To Move Forward

In a state of neutrality, something fascinating occurs. We create space for God, the universe (or whatever force you believe in) to work its magic. 

Letting go of that firm grip on the rope paves the way for a more effortless journey toward your desires. It opens doors to unexpected, extraordinary outcomes that may even surpass your initial expectations.

Imagine being so at peace with the present moment that your desired outcome no longer holds absolute power over your emotions and well-being. Like planting a seed in fertile soil and then allowing nature to take its course, this is how we align our energy with the natural flow of life. 

Liberating Your Mindset & Manifesting Your Dreams 

To be clear, it's not about dismissing your desires or giving up on your dreams. Neutrality is about finding balance—A state where you can hold a vision for yourself, where your goals remain important, but you're also at peace with whatever life delivers. 

Having faith that even if things don’t unfold as planned, you could find happiness anyway. This is one of the most liberating mindset shifts you’ll ever experience. Deepak Chopra beautifully articulated this in his book, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success:

 …in order to acquire anything in the physical universe, you have to relinquish your attachment to it. You don’t give up the intention and you don’t give up the desire. You give up your attachment to your result.

So, consider this a gentle reminder: Letting go of the rope might just lead you closer to your goals faster than desperately holding onto it ever could. What's destined for you will always find its way, and if something doesn't align with your path, there's something even better on the horizon for you.

My 5-Step Process To Release Your Grip & Embrace Neutrality

We’re conditioned to chase one goal after the next. So releasing tight attachments can feel counterintuitive at first. Here’s a 5-step process to gradually guide you into a space of greater neutrality and peace. 

It’s the same sequence I use when my chest gets tight while pondering what I “need” or want for my life/business/relationships etc. I hope it helps you too. 

1) Embracing Daily Gratitude

Gratitude redirects your attention from your desires, nurturing contentment with the present, and minimizing feelings of “lack.” By recognizing current blessings, it helps detach from the idea that fulfillment relies solely on achieving specific outcomes. I love The Five Minute Journal for this!

2) Ask yourself: What am I scared of happening if I don't achieve this goal?

This should come pretty easy as fears can be top of mind when we’re fixated on a certain goal (and they’re often the motivation). Consider the worst case scenario—Don’t worry, we’ll simmer down these fears soon. 

3) Ask yourself: What traits or characteristics could I cultivate to find peace with my present circumstances if this goal isn’t achieved?

We’re starting to see the silver lining here, if just a glimpse. You may also choose to consider your options or backup plans if it doesn’t work out…I think you’ll find there are many possibilities.

4) Ask yourself: What could make you feel happier and more peaceful right now? 

This encourages finding joy in the present rather than obsessing solely on future goals, creating a sense of fulfillment and reducing attachment to specific outcomes.

5) Practice EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques)

I want you to take a second to imagine the worst case scenario and notice how that makes you feel. Where in your body do you feel this the most? Is it in the pit of your stomach, your chest, your throat? And how would you rank the intensity of the feeling on a scale of 1-10?

Now, while focusing on that part of your body, tap on each meridian point (pictured below) while saying:

“Even though I haven’t _________  (gotten pregnant, lost the weight, found my partner) yet, I am learning/ choosing to deeply and completely love, honor, and accept myself.”

Once you finish one round of tapping, take a deep breath, and rank the level of intensity again. Repeat this as many times as you need, or until you feel a sense of relief. 

Interested in a hormone-balancing program that incorporates neutrality, EFT, and more healing modalities? 

The Transformational Wellness Journey is my personalized coaching program that helps conscious women ditch the band-aid approach of modern medicine for a modality that embraces every layer of your gorgeous, gorgeous being. 

Learn more and connect with me on a FREE wellness consultation!